Self-deception is a process during which we accept claims about our own personality as true even when they are actually false. For instance, when you have eaten too much and promised to work out extra the next day, you realize that you are in denial.
White lies are a part of our lives, but the usually diplomatic lie seizes our rationality the moment we forget how to be honest with ourselves. Whether it is an addiction we are desperately trying to cover up or a delusion that prevents us from moving forward, we lie to ourselves in order to create the impression of normality. However, the plot deepens and the lie forms roots the moment self-deception becomes a state of mind. It is time to face our demons, regardless oftheir nature and admit that weakness is a trait we all share.
“I Can Quit Anytime I Want”
There is no other common claim more used by addicts and alcoholics than this. Whether you simply like alcohol, chocolate or shopping, the destructive force prevents the mind from accepting defeat and asking for help. A person does not want to justify a bad habit, because of fear that it might become real. Admitting that life is not a fairytale is not a sign of weakness, but of realism. Self-deception allows addicts of all kinds to believe they have the key, but with a simple magic trick, the power disappears and the addiction persists.
“I’ll Work out More Tomorrow”
Indulging in a bucket of spicy wings or an irresistible treat may seem harmless, especially when the guilty pleasure can be “fixed” the next day at gym. Each bite comes with the promise of one extra repetition at the gym, but the amount of actual workout is inversely proportional to the size of the taste buds’ guilty pleasure.
“I Can Change Him/Her”
This is a tale as old as time and it gets the best of us all. The problem with accepting our partner’s flaws could betray a fear of living alone. Research shows that people usually tell themselves this white lie because they do not wish to admit that a relationship is not going in the right direction. One must accept that this way of thinking can be translated into a fear of ending up alone, which they believe is worse than being with the wrong person.
“I’ll Start on Monday”
The difference between “I’ll work out more tomorrow” and “I’ll start on Monday” is a session of abs or a few days in which one can indulge in guilty pleasures. Self-deception is an enemy that can only be defeated with the help of a friend or mentor.
Therefore, Monday has been declared the place where hopes come to die. It has lost its taste for a new beginning, but repetition could lead to action.
“I Don’t Want a Serious Relationship”
This phrase does not belong to men, nor does it exclude women. People are, more often than not, weak and crave for somebody to love and understand them. The problem appears when denial prevents happiness from occurring, but a person’s biggest enemy is his/her own persona.
A relationship happens without the lovers’ consent and verbally canceling the possibility does not mean that the desire of settling down has faded away.
“I’m Taking a Year Off”
People need freedom and, while some perceive it as a longer weekend, others interrupt their studies in order to take a year off. However, this white lie can ruin lives if the pause prolongs and causes a disruption in one’s career plans.
While in school, students follow a precise infrastructure that motivates them to continue their studies, but after stepping out of the system, moving in the right direction becomes more difficult.
“It Isn’t Permanent”
From taking a year off to considering a situation or a job ephemeral there is only one step that can cause plans to disappear under the heavy weight of idleness. Going back to a domain, a lover, a country or a job becomes harder as time passes by, so preventing disappointment can only be done by manning up and accepting and dealing with life’s ups and downs without making too many compromises.
“I’m Not like My Mother/Father”
Self-deception activates when children become adults and start noticing that their habits resemble their parents’. Regardless of the feelings one might have towards his/her parents, not admitting that their genes are running through their children’s veins is a white lie. Personality shapes people, but studies show that children end up just like their parents. Genetics don’t lie!
“Everything Will Be Fine”
Wishful thinking is a white lie in disguise, because in life, perks are not offered for free. One must work in order to put his/her life in order and give their best to succeed. Being proactive is the key to a better existence.
“They Were Lucky”
Belittling yourself leads to no good, but overestimating your knowledge and power leads to the same result. Blaming others is an action that starts from early childhood and survives through high school, college and adult life. However, the absence of a friend or mentor who can offer a critical opinion can cause temporary blindness when it comes to one’s abilities. The time has come to assess ourselves and stop believing that others were born under a lucky star.